Redemption
by lareinaSelena
Summary: COMPLETE!!! Barbara deals with some demons left over from her encounter with Lady Shiva
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: If I owned them, would the show have been cancelled? I don't think so! :Sighs heavily: Ok, ok. I do not own any of the characters contained herein. This is a fanfiction. It's sole purpose is to make people happy. Ok, and also to silence the muse that's been screaming in my head since I saw "Lady Shiva". 

A/N: As you may have noticed above, this fic will contain spoilers for at least "Lady Shiva", although I make tiny references to both Hawke episodes. Basically, you need to have seen the show to have any clue what I'm talking about here. I'd like to thank my betas, Tammy and Arlene, for catching my little grammar boo-boos; you guys are great!

A/N 2: Please, please don't forget to review; I really love this show, I'm incredibly pissed that it was cancelled, and I want to do right by the characters and the fans. Constructive criticism is appreciated; any flames will be used to make Smores! :Ooooh, chocolate!:

                                                            Redemption

            Night lay over the city of New Gotham like a thick cloak, broken only by the twinkling of lights from various office buildings and apartments. A casual observer might have thought the vista a peaceful one, but this was not so. Darkness in New Gotham was a haven, a shelter for the large criminal element that preyed on the weak and helpless. But night also provided shelter to the hope of New Gotham, in their struggle to protect the city.

            In a high clocktower that overlooked the troubled city, a young woman who embodied part of that hope was seeking to find respite from her troubles in sleep. But Barbara Gordon would find no peace in her dreams, as the ghosts of her past reached out to her. . . . . 

            _"Apology **not** accepted," Lady Shiva spat, falling into a battle stance. Batgirl did the same, whipping out her escrima sticks. She managed to block Shiva's opening blow, and moved straight into the blow to Shiva's head that should have disabled her. But the other woman had gotten too good; she had obviously kept up with the training that Barbara had been forced to stop when Batgirl died. Shiva blocked the blow, and delivered one of her own that sent Batgirl to the ground. The neural response device overloaded and shut down, shattering the illusion of her old life and leaving Barbara gasping in pain._

_            "Get up!" Shiva demanded._

_            Barbara shook her head, hating to show weakness in front of her enemy but having no choice. "I can't," she whispered sadly._

_            A second later, she was unmasked; Shiva seemed to hesitate briefly as her face came into view. "You're Batgirl?" she asked._

_            "No," Barbara forced the word out, admitting the harsh truth to herself as well as to Shiva. "Not anymore."_

_            Shiva's hesitation was gone, and she moved in, fist raised for the killing blow. Barbara wished briefly that she had let Helena help her as the girl had asked. But there would be no Huntress to save her now, as Shiva moved in for the kill – _

"No!" Barbara wrenched herself out of the nightmare with a cry, and the shadows of her mind resolved themselves into the familiar contours of her bedroom. She shook her head, trying to dispel the lingering images, her heart pounding.

            "Barbara?" The pounding was at her door as well; she must have woken Dinah. "Barbara, are you all right?"

            "I'm fine, Dinah," Barbara called, trying to force calm into her voice. "It was just a bad dream. Go back to sleep."

            She could almost see the reluctance on the younger girl's face, but soft footsteps indicated that Dinah had gone back to her room. Barbara lay back down with a sigh; it was very late, but she knew that she wouldn't get any more sleep that night. Feelings surged through her, mostly guilt, as she remembered her fight with Lady Shiva and the resulting death of Shiva's sister. "When will you stop haunting me, Shiva?" she whispered, staring blankly at the ceiling. There was no answer, though; there never was.

Ok, so go review; but remember about the flames! 

:lareina smiles and walks off, muttering to herself about graham crackers and marshmallows:


	2. Redemption chapter 2

Disclaimer: still don't own 'em. See chapter 1

A/N: Thanks again to my wonderful betas, Tammy and Arlene; ok, on with the fic! And don't forget to review!!!

            The next day dawned bright and sunny, as if New Gotham could dispel the harsh truths exposed by night under the spring sun. A bazaar being held by one of the local churches helped the illusion of normalcy. Although the feelings from her dream had not left her, Barbara was determined to enjoy the bazaar with Wade. Because the bazaar was being held in a park near the church, she decided to leave her mechanized wheelchair behind and use a regular chair – no handles or arm rests, angled wheels – that would be easier to use on the uneven ground.

            "You should take this with you, Miss Barbara." Alfred's voice stopped her just as she was heading out the door. Turning to face him, she saw that he was holding one of the emergency transmitters, a piece small enough to fit in her ear and go unnoticed.

            "Really, Alfred, I don't see the need," Barbara replied, with a smile that was only a little forced. "It's just a date with Wade – to a bazaar, in the daytime no less. What could possible happen?"

            The old butler studied her for a moment, long enough for Barbara to get the uncomfortable sensation that he was seeing into her very soul. When he spoke, however, his voice was calm and even, giving no hint he was aware of her distress. "You know better than anyone, Miss Barbara, that New Gotham is a city of many dangers, not all of which lurk in the dark. I think it could not hurt to be prepared, surely."

            Alfred had a point, as usual; Barbara sighed as she accepted the transmitter and fixed it into place. "All right, you win. I'll see you later." She couldn't help grinning at him as she turned back to the elevator. 

            Watching as she entered the elevator and the doors closed behind her, Alfred Pennyworth smiled to himself. He was glad to see Miss Barbara doing something for herself; she did that so little of late . . .  As he turned away, however, he could not dismiss a vague feeling of disquiet, as if something was about to go wrong. It was the same feeling that had prompted him to press the transmitter on Miss Barbara, but doing so had not made the feeling go away, only lessen slightly. He made a mental note to contact Miss Helena later; maybe she could keep an eye out on her sweep that night. For now, that was all he could do.

            It was surprising, Barbara reflected, how much she was enjoying herself at the bazaar. The bright spring sun banished any lingering feelings from the night before, and she found herself laughing freely at Wade's bad jokes as they moved among the stalls of the bazaar. She felt a sense of freedom such as she had not felt in years; it was almost enough to make her forget her wheelchair – almost. The ground was more uneven than she'd expected, and slightly damp after rain the day before. She had to work hard to keep pace with Wade, but she was determined not to let anything spoil her wonderful day.

            Trouble came close to the end of the day, as twilight fell and the bazaar was beginning to wind down. Barbara and Wade were preparing to leave when sounds reached them of a fight breaking out between some rowdy teenagers and a new Gotham policeman. One of the teens broke away and ran – straight at Barbara. She tried to move away, but one of her wheels had sunk into a muddy rut, and she wasn't able to get out of the way in time. The running teen clipped the side of her chair, overturning it and sending Barbara to the ground.

            There was a moment of silence that seemed to stretch on forever, and then everybody was talking at once. Barbara barely registered the sounds of the policeman arresting the teen, as Wade righted her wheelchair and knelt by her. "Barbara, are you all right?" he asked. "Here, let me help you – "

            "No." Barbara pushed herself up to a sitting position, carefully avoiding Wade's eyes. She didn't want to see the pity that she knew was there. She had fallen out of her wheelchair before, certainly; she'd even done it in public, but to do it in front of Wade was suddenly more humiliating than she could take. "I can do it myself."

            The words came out a little more harshly than she'd meant them to, and Wade stayed silent as they headed out of the bazaar. Barbara knew she'd hurt him, and part of her mind scolded her for her overreaction, but she could not bring herself to speak. The feelings of guilt sparked by her dream mixed with the events of the day, and her earlier feeling of freedom gave way to a feeling of near suffocation.

            "I have to go," she whispered to herself frantically.

            "What?" Wade stopped as they reached the sidewalk and turned to her, a puzzled look on his face.

            Barbara took a deep breath as she turned to face him, trying desperately to remain calm. "Wade, I'm sorry, I know we were going to have dinner, but I have to go; I'm not feeling well."

            "Let me walk you home," Wade offered, but Barbara was already turning away, heading deeper into the gathering twilight. He stared after her for a long time, until she disappeared from his sight entirely, before turning and walking away, a determined look on his face.

Thanks for reading; now click the blue button and review!

:lareina walks away, muttering to herself about lack of graham crackers:


	3. Redemption chapter 3

Hi, everybody! Sorry it took me so long to update; please put away any rotten things you were planning to throw at me! :Hides under desk briefly, then resurfaces: 

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

A/N: Unfortunately, real life intervened on Tammy, one of my betas, and she can't help me anymore. Everybody please give her a nice round of applause for her good work! Special thanks to my other beta Arlene; without her input, this chapter especially would be nowhere near as good as it is. :Blows kisses: Thanks, Arlene! You're the best!

Ok, go read the chapter, and don't forget to review! 

Barbara wandered the streets of New Gotham in a haze of emotion, barely registering where she was going, her arms working on autopilot to keep her moving. She turned down a side street, and stopped abruptly, facing a blank wall at the other end.

            "Well, well, what have we here?" a voice said from behind her. Startled, she turned quickly to see three men move to block the mouth of the alley. "Looks like someone lost her way," the one in front continued.

            "I just took a wrong turn," Barbara replied quickly, her mind racing. "If you don't mind, I'll just be on my way." She headed for the open street, but the leader – for he was obviously in charge of this group – blocked her. 

            "I don't think so," he said smoothly, and Barbara clearly heard the sound of knives being drawn by all three men. "I think you should stay awhile."

                    **********************************************

            Back at the Clocktower, Dinah and Alfred were getting worried. "Barbara should have been home by now," Dinah muttered anxiously, pacing back and forth in front of the main computers. The ringing of the phone shattered the silence, and she dove for it. "Hello? . . . . Oh, hi Wade . . . Barbara? Um, hold on a minute, I'll check." Setting the phone down carefully on the table, she turned to Alfred. "It's Wade," she told him anxiously. "He wants to talk to Barbara. What do I tell him?"

"We cannot tell him that she is missing," Alfred insisted. "He will want to involve the police, and I do not believe that is advisable, given the state of New Gotham's police force at this time. Perhaps a bit of misdirection is in order?"

Dinah bit her lip, staring at the phone. "Ok," she sighed. "I'll give it a shot."  Picking up the phone, she hesitated briefly before putting it to her ear. "Wade? Yes, she's here . . . Really? What happened? . . . No, she's not feeling well. I made her go to bed, and she's sleeping. . . .  Yeah, no problem. I'll have her call you. . . . Ok, bye."

            She hung up the phone and turned to Alfred, taking a deep breath. She wanted nothing more than to scream, to release the feelings that were starting to whirl inside her, but Barbara's voice reached out to her from the time when her mother had died, steadying her. 'Clear your head,' she told herself. 'You can do this.' "Wade was calling to make sure Barbara got home ok," she told Alfred.  "Apparently, there was an incident at the bazaar, and she took off right after."

            "The bazaar ended hours ago," Alfred noted, worry creasing his own features. "We need to find her. I made her take an emergency transmitter; see if you can locate its signal, and I will contact Miss Helena. Her shift at the bar is almost over, and I am sure she will want to go looking for Miss Barbara."

            Dinah nodded, feeling a sense of relief sweep over her as Alfred took charge. She set to work with determination, activating the tracking program and setting it to find Barbara's transmitter. Behind her, she could hear Alfred's voice as he spoke to Helena at the Dark Horse Bar.

            "WHAT?!" Helena's shriek was clearly audible to Dinah; Alfred winced and pulled the phone away from his ear for a minute. Putting it back, he listened again, and then handed Dinah the phone.

            Dinah took it gingerly at first, handling it as if it were a live snake. A pissed off Helena was not someone she especially wanted to deal with. Then a beep from the working tracking program hardened her resolve, and she wedged the phone between her shoulder and her ear, returning her eyes to the computer screen. "Helena," she said firmly, "calm down."

            "Where is she, Dinah?" Helena's voice was cold and hard, and Dinah realized that she was speaking not to her friend, but to Huntress. 

            "Her transmitter's operating. Location's coming up on the screen now." Dinah told her. A minute later, a blinking dot appeared on the map displayed on the screen. "Damn!" she swore. "Huntress, she's on the other side of the city; an alley near Sixth and Henessey. Hurry; I have a really bad feeling about this."

            "I'm on my way." Dinah heard Helena shout something to one of the other bartenders, and then the connection was cut. Handing the phone back to Alfred, she watched Huntress' dot begin moving towards Barbara's dot, fast but maybe not fast enough. She bit her lip, trying to suppress the sudden stab of fear that shot through her.

                        *****************************************

            In the alley, Barbara reached behind her to the pouch where she kept her emergency supplies, pulling out a set of escrima sticks. "Let me pass," she said slowly. "I don't want to hurt you."

            "You? Hurt us? Lady, give me a break," the leader of the trio scoffed. He began to laugh, but quickly sobered when he saw the easy way she handled the sticks, and the determined light in her eyes. In true thug fashion, he stepped back and motioned to one of the men behind him. "Take care of this," he ordered casually. 

            The man he addressed hesitated briefly, and then moved forward, holding his knife low. Using the instincts she'd honed over years of fighting crime, Barbara waited. He feinted twice, hoping to scare her, and then drove the knife forward towards her chest. The escrima sticks caught him before he was halfway there, slapping the knife smoothly from his nervous grip and sending him to the ground with a howl of pain. "Man, I think she broke my hand!" he cried, scooting back to where his friend waited. 

            Barbara had a response prepared; verbal sparring had always been one of her favorite crime-fighting tools, and she had learned from the mouth of Dick Grayson, the master of quips and puns. But she never got the chance, as hands grabbed the wheels of her chair from behind and yanked, pulling her over backwards. Barbara cursed herself as she landed hard on her back, air flying from her lungs and the escrima sticks from her hands. Her emotional turmoil had dulled her edge, and she had focused on the immediate threat while forgetting to keep the other two thugs in view. The distraction caused by the backup thug had given the leader time to slip around behind her and pull her chair over. 

            Coughing, Barbara reached for one of the sticks, just out of reach. A hand came down on her wrist, just hard enough to keep it in place, and she looked up to see the leader staring down at her, smiling. "Play time's over," he said softly. Reaching down, he grabbed her by the throat and lifted her into the air. Barbara grabbed for his hand reflexively before realizing that her airway was not impeded. The smile dropped from the man's face as he held her at eye level in front of him. "You shouldn't have done that, lady," he hissed. "We was just gonna take your money. Now? You just upped the ante."

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lareina walks away, juggling marshmallows


	4. Redemption chapter 4

Ok, two chapters at once! Hopefully, this will tide y'all over until I can get the next two chapters up, right? :Looks around hopefully: 

Disclaimer: way back in chapter one, which hopefully you read, or this won't make any sense at all.

A/N: Not much to say here, other than thanking my beta, Arlene, who is so cool, both for beta-ing and putting up with me, lol!!!! Anyway, on with the fic!  

Huntress raced across the rooftops of New Gotham with a speed she'd never had before. She was grateful for the challenge her speed presented to her journey; it gave her something to focus on, kept her mind on being Huntress. Deep inside, Helena was near to tears with fear for Barbara, who was like a second mother to her, but at that moment it was Huntress who was most needed, not Helena. 

            She slowed as she reached the alley Dinah had named, not wanting to announce her arrival too soon. If Barbara weren't in any danger, she would not be pleased at Huntress' interruption, but if there were trouble, then the element of surprise would be an important factor. Taking a deep breath, she looked around the corner, and her heart almost stopped as she took in the scene before her.

            There were three men in the alley with Barbara, all armed with knives. One of them – the leader, no doubt – had grasped Barbara by her throat and lifted her out of her wheelchair, which had been overturned. The man held her at eye level in front of him as he spoke to her. Huntress was too far away to hear what he said, but she had no doubt that it was a threat of some kind. The other two hung back, closer to the mouth of the alley – backup in case of trouble. One of the backup thugs was favoring his right hand, and Huntress could see his knife on the ground, along with a set of escrima sticks. She smiled briefly – obviously Barbara had given them some trouble.  

            Turning back for a moment, Huntress touched her necklace, activating a comm link back to the Clocktower. "Dinah, it's me. Barbara's in trouble. Get the car and get down here fast. And contact Reese at the station. Tell him there'll be three bad guys for him to pick up. I'll give him details later."

            "Understood, Huntress. I'm on my way." Dinah's voice was firm, barely betraying her emotions, and Huntress smiled briefly; the girl had come a long way. A strangled gasp from the alley brought her focus back, and she turned the corner to see that bad guy #1 had tightened his grip on Barbara's throat. He was speaking more rapidly now, and she could see the knife he held just under Barbara's ribs.

            In an instant, she was behind them. The wounded thug went down quickly, but his partner seemed to have had some training, and lasted a bit longer. The delay was no more than a minute, but it proved to be just long enough; Huntress turned from him just in time to see the leader throw Barbara against the wall. There was a sick thud as her head connected with the bricks, and she crumpled in a heap on the ground, unmoving. Huntress spared only a glance for the fleeing assailant as she rushed to her friend's side, rolling her onto her back. There was a cut on her head, probably from the impact of the wall, but that was overshadowed by the blood rapidly soaking Barbara's shirt. Helena went into a definite panic at that point, remembering the last woman she'd loved who had been stabbed in the street, but Huntress ruthlessly kept control.

            "Dinah, where are you?" she shouted as she clamped her hands over the wound, applying pressure. "Barbara's hurt! Alert Reese that one of the perps is on the run!"

            "We're on it, Huntress," Dinah's voice came back, much less calm than before but still steady. "Pulling up now." A few seconds later, she came flying down the alley, emergency medical bag in hand. "Alfred's back at base," she said in reply to Huntresses' look. "He said he'd be more use preparing the medbay for any injuries."

            Huntress spared a second to bless the old butler's foresight as she grabbed the bag from Dinah and yanked it open. Pulling out a pair of scissors, she cut Barbara's shirt open for better access to the knife wound, just below the ribs, and took a pressure bandage from Dinah. Once it was in place, she checked for a pulse and was relieved to find it relatively strong and steady – for the moment. "Ok, let's move," she said, carefully gathering Barbara into her arms. "We need to get her back to the Clocktower, fast. Get on comms and tell Alfred to get Dr. Thompkins over there, now!"

Ok, you all know what to do; don't make me get out my sharp objects!!!

lareina walks off, making mental note to buy more chocolate for smores:


	5. Redemption chapter 5

Ok, you demanded it, so here it is; the next update! You guys have really inspired me to get these out fast. I was a little nervous about posting this, because I really wanted to get it right, but your responses have really kept me going. Thank you!!! 

Disclaimer: see waaaay back in chapter 1 – if you haven't read that, why are you here?

A/N: Again, many thanks to my wonderful beta, Arlene! :Blows kisses: Thanks, chica; you're the best! 

What are you waiting for? Go read the chapter already!

            The ride back to their secret base seemed to take an eternity, but in reality only fifteen minutes had passed by the time they barreled out of the elevator at the top of the building. Dr. Leslie Thompkins, who had aided Batman in the past and was a friend of both Barbara and Alfred, immediately whisked Barbara into the medbay where Alfred was waiting, and the door closed firmly behind her.

            With her mentor in capable hands, the Huntress fled, and Helena sank into a chair with a sigh. Lifting a trembling hand to her head, she stopped short as she realized it was stained with blood. Barbara's blood . . . Suddenly, tears were streaming down her face. A hand touched her shoulder briefly, and then Dinah was there, gently wiping her hands with a wet cloth and helping her out of the coat she wore, also stained with blood. The two women sat in silence for a long moment, waiting.  
            "What if she doesn't make it?" Surprisingly, the question came from Helena, her tone conveying such stark fear that it tore at Dinah's heart, echoing the feelings already there.

            "She'll make it," she replied, trying to inject confidence into her voice and failing miserably. "Barbara's strong. She'll get through this."

            "But what if she can't?" Helena asked plaintively, the tears resuming. "I can't do this again, Dinah. I've already lost one mother to a thug with a knife, I can't lose another . . ." Dinah laid the cloth on the floor as Helena's voice failed. Wrapping her arms around her friend, she let her own tears come.

            It was an hour before the medbay doors opened again; Helena and Dinah had calmed slightly, and were sitting together, waiting. They both leapt to their feet as Dr. Thompkins approached. "Well? How is she?" Helena asked quickly.

            "I won't lie to you girls; it was a bad wound." Leslie spoke without preamble, her voice calm and serious. "Thankfully, it missed the heart and lungs, although there was considerable blood loss. The next few hours will be critical," she paused, and her face softened slightly, "but she's going to be fine."

            A wave of relief swept over Helena, almost staggering her; she hugged Dinah tightly, and then Leslie as well. "Thank you, Leslie," she said softly.

            "I was happy to help," the older woman replied. "I've left instructions and supplies with Alfred. He should be able to handle things from here. She should wake up sometime within the next twenty-four hours. If she doesn't, or if anything goes wrong, call me."

            Once she had departed, Helena and Dinah headed into the medbay. Alfred was standing by the bed when they entered, holding Barbara's hand and stroking her hair as he spoke softly to her. "She'll be all right, Alfred," Helena said softly as she approached, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Leslie said so." 

            "Of course she will; Miss Barbara has always been a strong young woman," Alfred said quietly. Patting Barbara's hand, he turned to go, and Dinah could have sworn she saw tears lurking in the butler's eyes. "She is one of the three strongest women I have ever known," he continued, smiling at them. "I'll go and make some tea."

            The two girls settled into a comfortable silence as they shared the vigil by Barbara's bedside. For her own part, Helena was deep in thought, reliving memories of Barbara over the years they had been together. She was brought out of her reverie by an exclamation from Dinah. "What is it? What's wrong?" she asked. Checking her watch, she realized with a start that nearly the whole day had passed.

            "I think we should call Dr. Thompkins," Dinah said, her voice shaky. "Barbara still hasn't woken up, and it's been almost a whole day already."

            Helena leaned over Barbara, taking one hand in hers. "Barbara?" she called loudly. "Barbara, wake up! Come on, we've gotta go get the evil criminals!" There was no response. Helena tried shaking her friend, even slapping her, but nothing worked. A strong sense of dread filled her, and she looked up at Dinah to see the same dread in the other girl's eyes. "Get Leslie over here," she said firmly. "Now."

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:walks away, debating the merits of dark vs. milk chocolate for use in smores:


	6. Redemption chapter 6

And now . . . . . chapter 6!!!! We're getting close to the end, amigos; two more chapters, and that's the end! 

Disclaimer: You know, if you don't know where it is by now . . . . . 

A/N: Thanks again to my beta Arlene, who catches my plot errors as well as my excessive semicolon use!!! LOL, seriously, though, this story would not be as good without her help; thanks, chica!

Ok, ok, enough yammering; go read!!!

            Once Dr. Thompkins arrived, she shooed them out of the medbay while she examined Barbara. Alfred joined them as they waited. His perpetual calm seemed somewhat rattled, but he still managed to exert a calming effect on their frantic nervousness. Finally, the door opened and the doctor emerged. "What have you found, Doctor?" Alfred asked as they gathered around her.

            Leslie sighed, frustration showing clearly through her professional demeanor. "I've examined Barbara thoroughly, I've run every test I can think of, and even a few more, but I can't tell you why she won't wake. There's really no medical reason; she did hit her head, but not hard enough for this kind of unresponsiveness. There's really nothing to do but wait; I'm afraid it's up to Barbara now."

            Once the doctor left, Alfred joined Helena and Dinah around Barbara's bed as they tried to make sense of what they had been told. "Could it be a meta?" Dinah asked finally. "Maybe that guy was a meta-human, and he's keeping her unconscious somehow."

            "I believe that the answer is somewhat simpler than that, Miss Dinah," Alfred replied. "I believe that it is far more likely that Miss Barbara simply does not wish to wake."

            "Ok, Alfred, now I think you're ready to retire," Helena laughed briefly before sobering. "Why would Barbara want to be unconscious? She's got this whole save-the-world kick going. She can't do that like this."

            "I've been keeping a close eye on her since the incident with Lady Shiva," Alfred told them, his expression grave. "Miss Barbara has not been herself since that time. I believe that she still blames herself somewhat for the unfortunate death of Shiva's sister."

            "I've seen it too," Dinah said slowly. "She's had nightmares since that whole thing went down; not often at first, but they've been coming more and more lately. Sometimes, I hear her calling Shiva's name."  
            "You said something earlier about an incident at the bazaar." Helena reminded her.

            Dinah nodded quickly. "Wade said there was a fight, and Barbara's wheelchair got knocked over. They were supposed to have dinner, but she took off right after that."

            "That may have been a trigger," Alfred said thoughtfully. "Perhaps this attack allowed Miss Barbara to create a world that, in one way or another, is far less painful than this one."

            "Or it could be the other way around," Helena countered. "If she feels guilty, maybe she's found a place where she can punish herself the way she thinks she needs to be."

            There was a deep silence following her words, until Alfred excused himself to prepare lunch. "Why would she hide from us?" Dinah asked finally, tears in her eyes, her voice almost a whisper. "Why wouldn't she come to us, let us help her?"

            "It's that damn stubborn pride of hers," Helena said softly, her eyes never leaving Barbara. "She always wants to handle things herself, and this is personal for her." Something changed in her face, and she looked straight at Dinah. "If we can't make her come out to us to deal with this, we're going to have to go in to her. Can you take me into her mind, like you did before with me?"

            Dinah's eyes shadowed briefly as she remembered that time, just after she'd come to New Gotham, but she didn't hesitate. Taking one of Barbara's hands in hers, she reached out to Helena, who was sitting on the other side of the bed. Helena took a deep breath, squeezed Barbara's hand, and joined hands with Dinah. 

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	7. Redemption chapter 7

Disclaimer: Does this look like chapter 1? :looks around for disclaimer: I didn't think so.

A/N: Well boys and girls, we are getting close to the end! Once more, a round of applause for my beta Arlene, who has kept me on the grammatically correct path this whole way. Ok, now go read the chapter!! Go on, shoo!! :Makes shooing motions with hands:   

There was a strange pulling sensation, and then Helena found herself in the same black-and-white world she remembered from her fight with Ketterly. There were evident differences, however, between that world, drawn from her own mind, and this one. Instead of being in a deserted street, she and Dinah were standing in the ruined lobby of an apartment building. Smoke was heavy in the air, and fires burned just out of sight, the sounds of burning material providing a muted background noise. "What is this place?" Dinah asked, confused.

            Helena made her way to the front door; one glance outside told her everything. "This is where Lady Shiva lived, eight years ago," she said softly. Even knowing the truth, it was hard for her to reconcile the images of Barbara's long-ago mortal enemy and her old friend Sandy. "Shouldn't Barbara be here, Dinah? You came right to me, before."

            "I don't know," Dinah admitted, looking around. "I don't exactly do this often. But if you're right, and Barbara's trying to punish herself, she may not want us to find her."

            "Well, that's just tough," Helena muttered, heading for the stairs. "If I have to come into this rat hole, I'm not leaving without her." She took the steps two at a time, and Dinah followed more slowly.

            There were four apartments on the second floor, and they split up to search them. Helena was just finishing her second apartment when she heard Dinah call to her. She went back out into the hallway to find the younger girl standing outside the last door. "It's locked," Dinah reported. "I've tried to get in, but it's almost like the door's sealed or something."

            Helena frowned; none of the other doors had been locked. She tried the doorknob, pushed on the door, and finally threw all her weight against it, using all of her meta-enhanced strength, but nothing seemed to impact on the unyielding barrier. "She's gotta be in here," she said finally. "I'm not going to be able to break this down. Can you use your mind-meld, or whatever, and get her to let us in?"

            Dinah stepped up to the door and placed her hands on it. Closing her eyes, she was still for several minutes. "She won't hear me," she said finally, stepping back. "I think it has to be you."

            "But I've already tried," Helena protested. "It's too strong; I can't break through it."

            "I don't think you're supposed to force your way in," Dinah suggested. "Try using your heart, Helena. You're closer to her than anyone; if there's anyone she'll let in, it's you. You just have to believe."

            Helena eyed her doubtfully for a long moment. Finally, she stepped up to the door and laid both her hands on it. She pulled up all her memories of Barbara, filling her mind with all the love she felt for the woman who had become a second mother to her. "Barbara," she said softly. "Let me in. Please."

            There was a long pause, and then the door swung open with a soft click. Helena stepped inside, letting instinct guide her to one corner of the room. She found Barbara sitting on the floor, legs tucked under her, dressed in her Batgirl costume. "Barbara, are you all right?" Helena asked quickly, kneeling in front of her. "What's going on?"

            The older woman didn't answer her. She was staring at something across the room, tears streaming down her face. When Helena followed her gaze, she saw another figure slumped against a wall. "Shiva's sister," she said softly.

            "It's my fault." Barbara's voice was barely above a whisper, but it drew Helena's attention back to her. "My arrogance, my recklessness. If I hadn't been so blind, Shiva never would have lost her sister."

            "Barbara, come on; we have to get out of here," Helena insisted. "This building is on fire. Come on, I know you can walk in here, you did it before."

            "No, I can't," Barbara said softly. "I don't deserve to. Why should I walk, even here? Why should I even dream about walking out there, when an innocent girl is dead because of me?" She reached up and pulled off her mask, staring into the empty eyeholes with equally empty eyes. "I should have just let everything die with Batgirl," she whispered, new tears filling her eyes. "What good do I do, from my damned computerized tower? Who do I really save?"

            "You saved me," Helena said firmly. Reaching out, she pulled the Batgirl mask from Barbara and put it aside, then grasped the other woman's hands in her own. "Don't you know what you've done for me?" she asked, feeling tears of her own form in her eyes. "Don't you realize the difference you've made in my life? You have saved me so many times. You took me in after my mom died, when I had nowhere to go. You kept me from self-destructing in my own anger and pain; you showed me how to turn it into something positive, how to build a new life from the ashes of my old one."

            Barbara tried to pull her hands away, shaking her head, but Helena didn't let go, continuing on ruthlessly. "And you know what? You did all that, not as Batgirl, but just as Barbara Gordon, a woman who I watched completely redefine herself after a horrible tragedy. You had every reason in the world to turn your back on this city and its people, but you didn't. You found a new way to make a difference, as Oracle. I know you feel responsible for that girl's death, but you aren't. The only person responsible for her while she was alive was her sister. Shiva made choices that put her in the line of fire, and she is the only one responsible for her death."

            There was movement behind Helena, and then suddenly Dinah was there, settling to the floor beside her. "You saved me too, you know," she said quietly. "I came to New Gotham with nothing, and you gave me a home. But more than that, you gave me a family. After my mother died, you were there for me, just like you were for Helena. And during that whole deal with Hawke and the hit man, when I didn't even trust myself, you never gave up on me. You made me see that I didn't really want Hawke dead. I realized that you would always trust me and support me, no matter what." Reaching out, she lifted Barbara's chin, forcing the other woman to look at her. "We love you, Barbara," she said softly. "Please let us help you."

            Dinah lowered her hand as Barbara took a deep breath, closing her eyes. When she opened them again, they could see that the emptiness was gone, replaced with the life and warmth that had been there before. "Come on," Helena said with a smile. "Let's go home."

            She and Dinah stood, and after a moment Barbara joined them, somewhat unsteadily. "I don't think I know the way," Barbara said, glancing around as if seeing her surroundings for the first time. 

            "That's all right," Dinah said with a smile. "You showed us the way once. Now it's our turn." She grasped Barbara's hand in one of hers and reached out for Helena, who copied her movements.

And there you have it – proof that I am not immune to puppy dog eyes, which one reviewer was unscrupulous enough to use on me! LOL, just kidding, I love you guys! Ok, now review! Say nice things, and I might share my Smores!!

:lareina walks away, planning smores party for nice reviewers: 


	8. Redemption chapter 8

A/N:Drum roll, please? :drums pound in background: Ok, stop! :Drums cease: Damn things were getting on my nerves! Anyway, the whole point of that little show was to announce that we have reached the end. :Waves hands to quiet disappointed cries: But never fear amigos, there is more! I am, at this very moment, working on a semi-sequel – I call it that because it can stand mostly on its own, but if you've read this one, then great! You'll have to be patient, because it's not completed yet, and it looks like it's going to be a monster! And don't worry, malificentme, Dick will appear in that story – in fact, he already has! I want to finish writing it before I type and post it, so y'all don't go postal on me while waiting for updates, lol!!!! Anyway, muchas gracias to Arlene, my fabulous beta, for all her help! Ok, enough yammer, on with the story!!!

Disclaimer: Obviously not here, as this is not the beginning, but the end. Y'all know who owns them, anyway . . . . :walks off muttering about stupid TV people:

Ok, go read now!

There was another pull, and then Helena found herself back in the medbay, with Dinah across from her and Barbara lying on the bed between them. The monitors showed no change, and she slumped back in her chair, eyes closed, wondering briefly if it had all been in vain. Then her hand was squeezed, very gently, and her eyes flew open to see Barbara stirring slightly. 

            "Dinah, go find Alfred, quick! Tell him to call Leslie," Helena ordered, barely registering the girl's departure as she leaned over the bed. "Barbara? It's ok, I'm here, come on back."

            Barbara's eyes fluttered open slowly. She didn't seem to see Helena, but stared past her at the ceiling for a minute. Without warning, tears welled up and began to run down her temples into her hair. Helena spoke her guardian's name softly, gently, and the other woman turned to her, reaching out blindly as she broke down. Helena wrapped her arms around Barbara and held her, letting her pour out all the sadness, the guilt, and the fear she'd held inside for too long. 

            "I'm sorry," Barbara whispered, holding tightly to Helena as if afraid she would disappear. "I'm so sorry . . ."

            "It's all right," Helena promised, feeling tears of her own fall in response to Barbara's pain. "You'll be okay. It'll take time, but you'll get through this, I promise. I'll help you every step of the way." They stayed like that, clinging tightly to each other, until the door opened to admit Dinah, bringing Alfred and Dr. Thompkins.

            Leslie took over immediately, ordering Alfred and the two girls out while she examined Barbara. Alfred immediately headed off to make tea, while Dinah attempted to busy herself at one of the computers, although the frequent glances she threw towards the closed door of the medbay indicated her lack of success. Helena paced a circuit around the computers, occasionally glaring at the closed door as if wishing she could take out her frustrations on it. Finally, the door opened to admit Dr. Thompkins.

            "Well? How is she?" Dinah was the first one over, although Helena was right behind her.

            "She'll be fine," the elderly physician assured them with a smile. "The knife wound is healing nicely, but I want her to stay flat on her back until at least tomorrow to make sure."

            "Oh, she'll stay there," Helena assured her. "I'll make sure of it, even if I have to tie her down."

            "All right; well, I'll be going then," Leslie said, laughing. "Oh, Barbara's asked to see you, Helena. Not too long, ok? She needs her rest."

            "No problem." Helena watched as Alfred escorted the doctor out. She vaguely heard Dinah say something about homework as she turned and entered the medbay. Barbara's eyes were closed as she approached the bed, but a quick check of the monitors showed that she had only fallen asleep. Helena smiled as she pulled up a chair, adjusting the height so that Barbara would be able to see her comfortably when she woke.

            It was maybe a half an hour later when Barbara woke. "Hey," Helena said softly as the older woman stirred, rubbing sleep from her eyes. "How do you feel?"

            "Like I just lost a round of hand-to-hand with a street punk," Barbara said hoarsely, rubbing at her neck where some faint bruises remained from the chokehold her assailant had put on her. She took a deep breath to say something, but was interrupted by a coughing fit. Helena moved to the side table, where a glass of water waited. Taking it, she raised Barbara slightly and helped her drink. Once she was done, Helena laid her down and resumed her seat in the chair.

            "Did you mean it?" Barbara said finally, breaking the silence that was threatening to become uncomfortable.

            "Mean what?" Helena asked.

            "What you said before in my mind, about me saving you. Did you mean it?" Tears glimmered, ready to fall, behind green eyes.

            "Of course I meant it, every word," Helena responded, her throat closing around tears of her own. "How could you doubt it? You've been my only family for the last seven years, Barbara. How could you not see what you did for me?"

            "Because I didn't set out to save you. I was trying to save myself." The tears were flowing freely now, but Barbara paid them no heed as she reached out for Helena's hand. "You can't imagine what it was like, to wake up in that hospital bed and be told that I would never walk again. I wanted to die. Batgirl gave my life meaning, purpose, and I didn't know who I was without her." She stopped speaking for a moment, overcome by the memories she was reliving. Helena gripped her hand tightly, lending silent support, and waited. 

            When she was calmer, Barbara continued, her eyes never leaving Helena's. "Then I heard about your mom's death, and suddenly there was a way for my life to have meaning again. Your father lost his parents in a similar way, and while it led to him becoming Batman, it also cost him a great deal of his soul. I wanted to spare you that, and that desire gave me something to live for. So however much you think I saved you, I want you to know – you saved me just as much."

            There was silence for a long moment, as each woman contemplated what had passed between them. The moment was broken abruptly when Barbara yawned. "I should let you sleep," Helena said, standing up. "Leslie would kill me if she knew I'd been in here this long." She started to turn towards the door, but was stopped when Barbara spoke. 

            "Stay, please?" Her voice was soft, but Helena detected a hint of fear underneath, a fear that she remembered all too well. She didn't reply, but settled back into her chair and was rewarded by the flash of relief in Barbara's eyes before she closed them. Smiling, Helena took Barbara's hand in her own and let her mind drift, remembering how the other woman had changed her life. 

            It was less than an hour later when Barbara's hand suddenly tightened around hers, and Helena jerked her attention back to the bed to see her mentor twisting in the grip of a nightmare, tossing her head from side to side and muttering under her breath. Helena could only catch a few words, but she heard enough to realize that Barbara was again dreaming of her past with Lady Shiva.

            "Barbara!" Helena moved to the head of the bed, and took the older woman's face in her hands, trying to calm her frantic movements. "Barbara, it's just a dream! Come on, wake up!"

            Barbara's eyes snapped open as if with the force of a blow, and she stared wildly at Helena for a minute. Then she seemed to come back to herself, and pure anguish filled her eyes. "When will Shiva stop haunting me, Helena?" she asked plaintively, sounding very much like a child seeking reassurance from a parent.

            Helena leaned down and put her arms around the woman who had become her second mother, holding her tight. "I don't know," she admitted sadly. "I wish I could tell you that it would be soon. I won't lie to you, though. It will take some time to get rid of this demon. But you're strong, Barbara, you can do it. I have faith in you."

            The two women talked a while longer, before Barbara drifted off to sleep again. Helena watched her carefully for a while, and when no more nightmares seemed imminent, lay down on a nearby bed to get some sleep of her own.

            The next day, after a final, exhaustive checkup from Leslie Thompkins, Barbara was allowed back into her wheelchair. After a shower and change, she entered the main room to find Helena coming out of the elevator with a duffel bag. "What's this?" she asked as she approached her former charge.

            Helena shrugged, trying to appear casual. "Some of my stuff. I'm gonna stay here for a while so I can be nearby if you need me."

            "You really don't have to," Barbara began to protest, but was cut off by Helena's best 'Huntress' glare.

            "Yes, I do," the younger woman said firmly, but her face softened as she looked at Barbara. "You were there for me, every night, for months after my mom died. Now it's my turn." She smiled briefly, and then returned to a serious demeanor. "So, got any food around here? I cannot go out on sweep tonight with low blood sugar."

            Barbara laughed as she followed Helena to the kitchen. She'd almost forgotten what it was like to feel truly happy. It gave her hope that she could lay the demons of her past to rest one day. Until then, she would continue fighting against evil, seeking her redemption.

And that's all she wrote, folks! Well, at least until I can get the next one out. You guys have been great. I can't tell you how much it means to me to get such wonderful reviews from all of you, especially from authors whose stories I admire and respect! Smores for everybody!!!!


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